Nurture Relationships: How to Coach Marco to Trust

Maria stared at the blank Zoom screen after her team meeting, her thoughts unsettled. The meeting was efficient. Everyone reported their progress. Next steps were clear.

But something was missing.

The energy, the spark, the human connection that flowed easily in the office environment had evaporated into the digital ether.

"We're more connected than ever," she told her coach, "but sometimes it feels like we're further apart."

Do Maria's words strike a chord with you?

They capture the central paradox of Marco Polo teams today: technology connects us instantly across continents, yet trusting relationships are harder to come by.

The solution isn't trying to recreate pre-pandemic office relationships, but coaching Marco to trust by nurturing relationships.

The N in the C.O.N.N.E.C.T. framework for creating a positive culture in distributed teams is for Nurture Relationships: Coach Marco to Trust.

Doug Dennerline, CEO of BetterWorks, told me in our Work Positive Podcast conversation that his company starts every meeting with personal check-ins. Dogs bark in the background, cats walk across keyboards, and real life happens in real-time. They embrace these moments as opportunities for authentic connection instead of disruptions.

I lead our company's virtual 1-2-1's and Marco meetings like Doug. A couple of my assistants have young children whom I know by name and chat with regularly. You nurture a relationship of deep trust when you talk to a mom's child.

Kevin Eikenberry, author of The Long-Distance Team, shared a powerful insight during his episode of the Work Positive Podcast: "We need to make sure that as leaders of team members who are remote from us, that we're not just transacting business with them, but we're having interactions." This distinction between transaction and interaction transforms how deeply we nurture relationships with Marco and the entire Polo family of teams.

Marjorie Hook and Openly interact rather than transact by incorporating "recognition rhythms" into their daily cadence. These are opportunities for team members to acknowledge and celebrate each other. Their Slack channels buzz with small victories, personal achievements, and moments of mutual support. These micro-connections deepen relationships over time and trust accumulates.

Such nurturing relationships that elicit trust don't happen by accident. They require what John Bernatovicz calls "authentic empathy"—not just understanding others' perspectives but taking action based on that understanding. Authentic empathy can mean adjusting meeting times to accommodate different time zones, creating space for personal sharing in team gatherings, or finding new ways to celebrate achievements among Marco Polo teams.

This trust transformation emerges as we stop seeing distributed work as a barrier to nurturing relationships and start seeing it as an opportunity for deepening them. The crutch of physical proximity is gone and was a barrier to nurturing relationships anyway. The chance to grow people and profits through more intentional understanding and support is now front and center.

Maria, the leader I mentioned earlier, began to dedicate the first ten minutes of every team meeting to what she calls "Life Updates." These are more than professional check-ins, but real conversations about what's happening in people's lives. She created virtual coffee chats where work talk was off-limits. Most importantly, she made relationship nurturing a priority, not an afterthought, and trust among her Polo team members grew exponentially.

Trust transformed her team. Engagement improved. Collaboration deepened. Productivity soared. Work flowed more naturally as relationships nurtured more trust. People felt safe sharing ideas so innovation increased. Problems got solved faster because team members trusted each other. Trust empowered the team to peak performance.

Thomas was blindsided when his most innovative team member, Aria, announced her departure during a routine one-on-one. "I just don't feel trusted to do my job," she explained. "Every time I work remotely, I get questions about what I'm doing, when I'm online, why I wasn't in a meeting. Nobody monitors me like this in the office."

Aria's words cut deeply because Thomas thought he'd been a supportive leader. He checked in regularly, maintained open communication channels, followed all the "best practices" for managing distributed teams. Yet somehow, he'd missed the priority fundamental of a Marco Polo team: trust.

Marjorie Hook from Openly shared something profound in our Work Positive Podcast episode: "Trust is the currency of remote work." Trust is both more essential and more elusive without the visible cues of traditional office environments. A culture built on this foundation makes every other aspect of Marco Polo teams possible.

For Holly Grogan at Appspace, trust looks like care. She told me, "When I say care, it's twofold. You actually want me on this job and want to set me up for success...but then take it a step further, which is holistically caring about the well-being of our people." Such holistic care results in psychological safety—the belief that you can bring your whole self to work without fear of negative consequences.

After losing Aria, Thomas completely reimagined his approach to leadership. Instead of monitoring activity, he focused on outcomes. Instead of questioning absence, he celebrated results. Most importantly, he learned to trust first, then verify—not the other way around.

The results transformed his team. As Marco and the Polos felt trusted, they became more trustworthy. They delivered better results with the freedom to work in ways that suited them best. Psychologically safe, they brought more creativity and innovation to their work.

Ask yourself these three questions about nurturing relationships of trust in your culture:

• What will you do today to let your Marco Polo teams know you trust them?
• What's one action you can take today to nurture a relationship or two?
• How do you imagine the results?

Taken from Dr. Joey's soon-to-be-released book, Marco Polo Culture: C.O.N.N.E.C.T. with Distributed Teams.

What's your question about creating a positive work culture with distributed teams? Ask Dr. Joey here.